How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We got so high we made milksteak
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
