Can Purell be used as lube?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize
