official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
