..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I am spending my child support on dildos
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
