Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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