I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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