she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
