okay pat passed out under dana's car
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
