why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
