is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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