if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
