No awkward lesbian experiences without me
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was confusing and full of hummus
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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