Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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