This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
