Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
