apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
