we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
