the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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