so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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