I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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