No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
