WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I am naked and annoyed.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
