I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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