Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
