Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
