38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
