we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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