Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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