this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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