Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
