Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I need water and some morals
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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