I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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