We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
we're making bets on your personal life
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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