Is it because I queefed?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
