god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
