Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
