she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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