Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Randomize
