She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
its liver damage thursday
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
