yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
