I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize