like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
