im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
