he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
