To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
