I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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