Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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