Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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