he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize