Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
