If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
farters have to be the big spoon...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize