i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
