i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Dicks are not precious.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize