Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
