He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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