he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
