it was like eating out sand paper
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
