if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
