I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
