I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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