I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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