It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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