I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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